Lost
by YEMINKI
Summary: All i can say is... you never realize how much you love someone until you lose them.... Luna x Shinn


Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam SEED Destiny. Wish i did though...

Luna looked into the eyes of her embracer. They seemed to be smiling with pleasure. But the words that she heard from his lips made her wish that she had gone deaf there and then. "I love you… _Stellar._"

She blinked up at him. White hot anger pulsed through her veins. This was too much. She could take that their apartment was themed like the sea, the way Stellar would have loved it. She could take that the dresses he bought her were similar to those that Stellar used to wear. She could even take that the house they shared with Meyrin and Athrun was painted blue. She loved to kid herself that he painted it blue because it matched her eyes but no, blue was _her _favourite colour.

She knew that it was always hard for you to let go of your first love but… It was just that every single time she looked in his eyes, instead of seeing his affection for her, she saw only Stellar. She did not have anything against that extended but sometimes, it hurts to know that the person you love is still in love with another even though he's with you.

Sometimes, after Shinn was asleep, Luna would cry herself to sleep, thinking, "Why do I keep trying to win his affection? I'm just a rebound. He'll never love me…" Often, he would hug her in his sleep but the words he whispered in her ears did not belong to her. They never did and they never will.

Snapping back to reality, Luna pulled away from Shinn and slapped him as hard as she could. "You bastard! I know you loved her but you're with me now. Right now, we aren't moving anywhere. I don't mind you loving her but… You're just hurting me… I could take the house décor and the dresses but this… it's just too much."

Tears streaming down her face, Luna got up from where she and Shinn had been sitting on the swing and stormed towards the house. Shinn followed close after but Luna simply slammed the door in his face. "Luna, open up," Shinn pleaded. "Go away! I hate you Shinn Asuka, I hate you!" Luna's muffled voice could be heard from inside her room.

Athrun, hearing Luna's voice, approached Shinn. "What did you do now?" he asked. Shinn's face turned red and a defiant look flashed across his face before he gave in and answered Athrun's question. "I… accidentally called her 'Stellar'."

Athrun's eyes widened in shock and before Shinn knew it, Athrun had punched him. Meyrin ran over to see what was happening and she was afraid that the raven-haired boy would retaliate. However, she need not have worried.

Shinn had wanted to hit back, but he knew deep inside that he had deserved that blow. "Shinn," Athrun started in a serious voice, "We all know that you loved Stellar but, right now, you can't deny that you're with Luna. No one is asking you to forget Stellar completely, just, think about Luna's feelings. This house, it's nice and all. But, it's all Stellar. Nothing in this beautiful house let's you know that Luna lives here. It would have been easy for Luna to have left you after all you put her through, but she really loved you, trusted you and stayed with you. That's all I can say, the rest is up to you."

And with that, Athrun pulled Meyrin and left. Pushing Luna's door slightly apart, Shinn peered inside. Luna was on the floor, hugging her knees, rocking herself back and forth. "Why do I still stay with him? He keeps hurting me but… I can't hate him. I love him." Her voice cracked and fresh tears replaced old ones.

"Shinn Asuka, I want to hate you… b-but I-I just can't…" Luna's back was faced towards him but he could tell that she was sobbing, oblivious to his presence. He shut the door and clamped his eyes shut.

Tears were starting to burn beneath his eyelids. It hurt him as well, to know that the tears Luna were shedding was because of him, his selfishness. He slid down to the floor and starting crying silent tears. And as they cried, Meyrin and Athrun were watching the two lovers cry, separated by a wall.

The next day, Lunamaria emerged from her room, acting as if nothing had happened. Try as he might to hope that everything was okay, Shinn knew that beneath that bubbly exterior, Luna was hurting. After breakfast, when Shinn approached Luna, she just smiled and said, "Just go for training, I called in sick today. I just need a day off. I'm okay, really."

As much as his heart told him not to, he left. Halfway through his rounds at the ZAFT military centre, Shinn received a call. "Shinn? Are you there?" It was Meyrin. "Luna got i-into…" Meyrin's voice faded as she was sobbing too hard.

"Luna what?! Tell me Meyrin, what happened to Luna?" Shinn was anxious and worried; he would never forgive himself if anything happened to Luna. "She got into… a car accident. I don't know how, I just received a call from the hospital, telling me that Luna was in critical condition…" Shinn hung up.

He needed to get to the hospital. Now. As the hospital, the desk clerk asked him what his business here was. "I need to see Lunamaria Hawke." The desk clerk looked apologetic. "I'm sorry, I cannot let you see her."

Shinn saw red. "Why can't I see her?! She's my girlfriend! I need to see her… I can't live without her." The desk clerk looked taken aback at being shouted at and called security. Before the buff security guards could take him away, Athrun and Meyrin arrived. "please let go of him, he is sorry for shouting and causing a commotion. It's just that the person you denied him from seeing means a lot to him. It won't happen again." Athrun reasoned.

"She's in the _ZAFT military_ ward." The clerk said huffily. In the ward, they saw Luna, alive but in critical condition. Shinn started to sob again. "Luna, don't go. I'm sorry for the way I treated you. How could I have been so blind? Hanging on to Stellar all this time when the person who loved me the most was right in front of me. Luna, please wake up."

He was startled when he felt a gentle hand wipe away his tears. He looked up to see Luna smiling bravely at him. More tears fell from his crimson eyes. "Shinn, don't cry. I love you." Shinn looked up at her. "What… happened?" Luna smiled a little. "Gomen, I had you guys worried. I changed my mind and was heading towards the military centre. But I was careless and got hit."

Shinn's hand travelled up his face to Luna's hand. His tears felt warm. "Don't ever scare me like that again. When I thought I lost you, my whole world collapsed. And I thought that I would never see your smiling face again and something in me just snapped. I'm sorry. For hurting you. I love you, only you, not Stellar. I used to love Stellar but that was then, this is now." And the two lovers embraced. "I love you… _Luna_."

"Shinn, wake up," Meyrin called. Her eyes were still red from crying. Luna was gone… forever. 'But,' Shinn thought as he smiled a sad smile, 'at least she heard my last words to her: "I love you… _Luna_." I was finally able to tell her that I loved her, not Stellar.' He smiled again. He was going to join Luna tomorrow.


End file.
